Category: about myself
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finding my niche
for the first months of my journey as a changeworker, i swore i’d never niche down. “there are way too many interesting things about me,” i said. “there’s no way i could ever pick just one.” maybe that was very october libra of me. maybe it was my demand avoidance. see, since becoming a life…
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don’t like scheduling. i move with rhythms instead
when i first found out i had adhd, i was ravenous for knowledge. i wanted to know everything i could know about working with this neurotype, now that i’d finally been diagnosed. one of the most consistent things i found was “you need structure. schedule your days.” and like i tried it. it worked for…
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on figuring out that i’m gay
when i was in second or third grade, i learned the word “lesbian” from the neighbor next door, and i was instantly enraptured in it. i think i asked her two or three other times what it meant, over the next couple months. i’m not sure if i simply could not remember the meaning of…
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on executive function
i have to do the thing. i know i have to do the thing. i am the only one who can do the thing. i WANT to do the thing. doing the thing is the only thing i can think about. i have a lot of anxiety about not doing the thing. so why can’t…
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i can feel the wave coming.
i struggle with chronic fatigue syndrome. (also known as, myalgic encephalomyelitis) and one of the most important things i’ve come to be able to recognize with this is when a flare is coming up. i can feel one now, and it’s panic inducing. i have so much i need to do. i can’t afford to…
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practice until you can’t get it wrong.
when we are stressed, that’s like, prime time for old habits to make themselves known again. in times of trouble, we fall back on to the familiar. when i am stressed, my body hurts all over. i am exhausted. i lay in bed as much as i can and try to ignore whatever exists outside…
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sometimes we don’t know what needs to change. we just know it has to get better than this.
i didn’t change until i knew exactly what i wanted out of life. that required me to start liking myself enough to actually care about what i wanted. and i wanted to help people be their favorite selves. and figuring THAT out was only possible through the love given to me by people who truly…
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i thought i didn’t care, evidence points to the contrary
something i’ve noticed over the first week of blogging every day… i’ve recently been of the mind that i really don’t care what other people think i should be doing. but in writing these posts, something that keeps coming up is that i don’t feel like i am “allowed” to do or enjoy certain things.…
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on existing while fat
a couple months back, i had a realization i’m honestly still coming to terms with. for so long, my unconscious belief was that you can’t be fat and pretty at the same time. and, i’ve always seen myself as pretty, so by extension i’ve never seen myself as fat. obviously, that is not true and…